I love you but

This is what I have been plagued with for months, I love you but… Honestly, I really can’t conceptualize this in a fashion that would be reasonable for my understanding. hmmmmm. I thought love was forgiving; beyond anything that could take place between two or more people. Yet, I hear it all the time, it is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all. This is not true. Love hurts so much when it is not agreeing with my heart. Love has driven me to a breaking point, to the edge of insanity. I always manage to collect myself before I feel like I am about to have a nervous breakdown. I know it’s cliche to say that, but it is true. I have known that I am needy, dependent, starving for attention my entire life. I have a very good facade and couple that with anger, I can in all accounts, disappear, longing for attention and a caring touch in seclusion. So NO I do not want to have loved and lost. I want to love and love and love fully without the crutches of my past. I want my heart to be whole again.


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