Day 2

I have a lot of clarity today. It comes as I regret some of my actions in my last encounter with my ex (i think this is the first time i have used ex here). I did try to be understanding, but the pain of watching her leave me behind yet again was too great. I, understandably, could not contain my composure. However, I now feel some clarity as I think back on some key moments that night and things were out of place. Without getting too specific, I could tell by the way her place looked, certain moments she looked at me, she too, is in current turmoil. I wish I could have said some things differently to ease her pain, but I know the day will come where we will both be at peace. She has been at odds for years, wanting my anger under control, her parents acceptance of me and so much more. I cannot expect her to forgive and forget after 6+ months of a new attitude.  She really does need time to reflect, put things in perspective, and heal.  One thing I will cherish most is her recognizing that I have changed; that some part of me is good. In continuing on that path, she wants me to be well so I will be, for her, for me, taking it one day at a time.

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