I find myself becoming close to so many people, being open and honest with my feelings, yet, I am jealous of them; they have what I so desparately yearn for. They have what my life lacks. I am surrounded by marriages and relationships that they are able to keep together daily. I thoroughly enjoy and revel in their happiness with them, but I would be lying if I didn’t say there is more than a hint of jealousy here. As the nature of envy overtakes me tonight, I miss the early plans of marriage and wanting to have a baby with the love of my life.