Doubt

As days go by, I’m becoming more depressed. From the music I listen to, to the things I write, they are all drenched in sadness and uncertainty. I don’t have a hard life and I punish myself for complaining all the time. There are so many others in worst conditions, but yet I’m here, complaining about a fucking relationship I fucking ruined myself. My arrogance has finally gotten the best of me and I still want people to listen. What type of monster lives inside me-inside a mind that so desparately wants to be free? Anyways, I figure I might as well get this all out no matter what it does to me physically, mentally or otherwise. I have so much doubt about my job, my relationships with others and more importantly, my relationship with myself;just doubt with no end in sight.

DOUBT

the diamond shine  of your I love you vanished

beneath doubt wondering
if I’m the mistake to put in the back of your closet

a beggar’s bad decisions plague

personal spaces hoping 

your heart strings can break

off a second chance that is submerged

in 180 degree changes


calculated kisses leave me cold

blowing smoke in the wind

as I protest our immortality together-stuck

in this twilight zone of baby strollers, rings and things 

that make your place, home

cringing thoughts ring loudly

in ears not ready for truth

so I stop and stand on sidewalks bearing

the sign will work for your love again

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