Venting #2

I’m starting to realize why I don’t feel close to people–I haven’t given them the chance to really know me.  I just adapt to their personality instead of being who I truly am around them.  The thing is, I don’t know who the real me is.  I think the “real me” is that person that is able to adjust to everyone and adapt to fit in.  I can be charming, funny, serious and a jerk all at the same time because all of those qualities are embedded in me.  However, I’m envious of people that are comfortable in their skin.  I am not.  I don’t think I’ve ever been nor do I think I’ve ever admitted it to anyone or myself. As I sit here, feeling the tears welt up in my eyes, I feel pathetic.  I’m close to being 28 years old and I have nothing to show myself.  I criticize personality traits I do not agree with, but at least, those people I critique are who they are, all the time.  What is wrong me?  My body aches, my sense of perception seems to be dwindling and I can’t remember if I’ve taken a bath today.  This isn’t me.  I’m at a loss.


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