I saw her lying on the bed, tears in her eyes listening as she told me how she could apologize for sleeping with someone else then doing it again and not telling me-knowing that the moment I saw her, I was in for a long night, I knew something was wrong. She had to think about seeing me even with the email and card I gave her. So in midst of an emotional rollercoaster, she opens up; tells me she can’t with me because the feelings she feels are too much. The love she has for me, etc. With anyone else, sex is just sex; not with me. One hand, I love that I still mean something. On the other, it hurts that she can herself to someone else over me. She has confided in me about several things, and what it really boils down to is that she is turning into who I used to be; self-sabotaging, anger-driven and cold hearted. That hurt me most of all. My past actions play a role in her present and until she fully forgives and lets go, we will never work. Until that time comes, my love for gives me no choice but to wait. A part of me is starting to hate love!