My Brain is Still Screaming

After the few angry texts this morning,I got a call from her confused. I was honest about being angry and hurt by what she did and she confirmed that she understood and should be. I explained that I understand that she is going to be intimate with others just don’t be while she is directly being intimate with me. After talking for close to an hour I feel better although still angry.  She told me that she is toxic for me and shouldn’t be around me and comes to me because I’m always there; she can be loving to me one day and cold the next because her heart is broken. I understand all of that and sympathize because I feel her pain. I just want her to understand that I’m negatively affected by the inconsistencies and she should only talk to me when she can be honest and non-confrontational.  Then she told me that although she can’t be with me right now, she would never say that she can’t be with me at some other time. So once again, with clarity, I’m still in limbo. The best and biggest part of me is with my nerd and I’m scared that she is going to come back to me ready to be a relationship again; right now I feel that no matter who I’m with at the time and what I feel for the other person, Veronica is my soulmate, the one I asked to marry me and those feelings of love will be hard to ignore at any time of my life.

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6 responses to “My Brain is Still Screaming

  1. Sometimes, it’s hard to feel clearly when all your emotions are jumbled up and don’t make sense. Maybe take some time and do something for you? Take a few days to just be by yourself and organize your thoughts. I’m sorry you are feeling all this pain.

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