Definitely, one of the hardest things I’ve had to do; walk away from someone I love. I have never loved anyone the way I love her, but I feel a strange peace now. I know it’s probably in part, knowing I did everything I could to fix the relationship. I will probably continue to miss her everyday. I know I will miss my cats, Piper and Kahlo, but I have to start thinking about my health and sanity.
She said V Day is a blur to her and remembers telling herself that we were going to have a great night. It obviously didn’t happen that way. She also thinks this isn’t the end for us and she acknowledged that she has been selfish wanting to keep me around and continuing to live the way she has. I told her that she has made things this way between us. What I want to believe is in whatever that is going to maintain my sanity; it is my priority now.
I want continue on the path of being friendly, honest and open, not trek backwards to anger, rage and despair. As I continue to heal, I will wait on myself and try to smile every chance I get.
GOOD LUCK TO ME!!!