The Hatred Love

There really is a thin line between love and hate; tonight the line was crossed. I have been letting her play me like a fiddle,and I’m just getting burned beyond recognition. After a brief argument about sex, I told her I hated her.  She can’t see the effects of me being strong and listening to her sleep with this other guy countless times while she places me in a box, only to be pulled out for serious matters.

She says our connection runs deeper than sex and she doesn’t need to have sex with me to feel me.  She doesn’t understand that I would be ok with that to a degree if she wasn’t out fucking someone else.  She says sex with him is good because she doesn’t have to think about it.  She says with me things are complex, I think too muxh about whether or not I’m good enough, etc.  My response: you should be glad there is a man out there that sees you as more than some pussy.  It’s just really hard to trust her when she’s lied so much about fucking other people and for how long while having me around still.  The hatred that’s building for her as already turned on myself. I keep getting into situations with her that deplete every ounce of me.  Down right sabotage affecting my self-worth.

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