The Email #2

So my ex never responded to the email I sent yesterday.  Instead she called me around 11 at night.  We talked for about an hour, however, it wasn’t our normal conversation by any means.  She wasn’t angry me and vice versa, but wasn’t happy either. It was just another avenue for me to feel depressed for another reason.  She told me that her grandma passed away so she has been out of it. I was immediately sadden because once again, I have to support her from a far when I know she needs me close.  Her pride and stubborn keeps us apart, but sometimes I understand it is for good reason, especially in situations like this when vulnerability runs high.  I wouldn’t want anything to happen between us that she doesn’t truly want to happen, but I do want to be near her in times of need.  As I struggle with this new information, I must remain strong for so many reasons and neglect my own selfishness.  If she reaches out to me to physically be there, I will not deny her, but I know I must not pressure her going forward.

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