So I fucking guess I can’t stop typing yet. so I won’t.  I’m angry that a person that has been kind, understanding and non-judgmental to me–listen to me bitch and whine–is having a hell of a tough time coping with something that she can’t even control–she wants a baby.  Not 2, 3 or some outlandish, ridiculous tribe of basketball wannabes, just one little boy or girl.  How fucked up is the universe when the good can’t even be rewarded?  I understand why and how I can feel the pain I feel every night, as though everything I ever had in a dream is being flushed down the toilet, but how can a married woman, who does things right, not get something as simple as having a child.  It’s a right that we as human beings take for granted.  She will obviously make an outstanding mom because she is considerate, kind, firm, but gentle.  Her husband, who I don’t know very well, seems to be just as compassionate, if not more.  How can I hope for anything even forgiveness if they can’t get something that they long for that should be so fucking simple.  It pisses me off that the universe loves to play sick jokes on those that try to live good.  Sure everyone has their problems and make mistakes occasionally, but when is a person finally given a pass for their misdeeds in life, good karma should come into play.  If she is being tortured for some ungodly reason, damn I’m fucking screwed for the rest of my days.  The woman that I could finally see bearing my child (skipping those teen years where children wanted babies for no reason) would rather be loved by a man that’s not me; rather be kissed and fucked by someone that’s not me and that hurts me to my core, more than it makes me angry, but I’m telling you guys that this woman that wants a child with her husband deserves some good; deserves a break in this fucking chain of miscommunication between the powers that be and us lowly humans seeking acceptance that we can never truly find.  What fucking gives in this world?

One response to “Rampage

  1. I saw a news story about a woman completely selling her 18 month old daughter to a man for him to rape her continuously and make child porn. This was last week. That’s when I officially gave up on the idea of Karma. She can still have more kids. Maybe not legally but her body can produce one and that makes me angry. More angry than I can say. But thank you for your kind and supportive words 🙂

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