I’m angry for no reason right now. Actually, I’m not. Being open and honest and trying to include those that I call my friends in this process of loving Veronica and not really wanting to move on, but feeling like I have to for my sanity to stay in tack is pissing me off. It wasn’t that I wanted to share anything with anyone, but this new open and honest process kind of pushes me to put my trust in someone. Based on the notion that I can’t really put trust and faith into anything my nerd says these days, I have to put trust in them. I know that for the most part, they all want me to move forward with my life and get over feeling sorry for myself and loving someone that constantly lies to my face. I’m just so angry that after I changed, she turned into something that I wasn’t. I’m just angry that my changing wasn’t good enough and I’m more than angry that she asked me to come back into her life, just to secretly fuck someone else while telling me she loved me everyday. Who would do that? Ahh! I just want to bug out and do something crazy, but I know that is just my anger talking. It is amazing how I can control it at times now, but I also realize that I’m not at the high points of anger that used to plague me over a year ago. I need to work past this as I know this isn’t healthy, but for right now, I’m going to settle for being angry.