I have always believed dreams meant something, even to go as far as to say they are little tell-tell signs of whats to come. Monday night I struggled to fall asleep, even with sleeping pills in my system; my mind juzt didn’t want to cooperate and shut down enough so I could rest.  I had dreams about my job and past accounts that I’ve worked on.  A friend of mine attributed that to stress and the need for me to take a REAL vacation–my simple reply was “with what money”.  I wish it was that easy for me to pick up and just go, but it’s not.  Even if I had the money, I still don’t have anyone to go with.  Just depressing that as much as I shy away from people, I need them so badly to function daily.

Last night, I had a dream that my ex is sleeping with one of my brothers. It was really vivid–very detailed. After a little analyzing, I realize that due to my little faith in love now and my overall level of distrust in her, my is going to very deepest and darkness places in my mind to show me how much disdain I really have inside of me at this point. With that being said, the task in front of me is now to figure out what I really want in a love because apparently, that has changed. Just what I need, more thinking. I really need this to get easier.


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