Dream of Being Wanted

I woke up thinking about her because of a dream I had.  I can’t remember the last time I felt she wanted me, if not, for personal gain.  I just didn’t feel I mattered in these last few months.  There were limited hugs and virtually no sex.  The no sex should have been a clear sign that I was obsolete; I had been replaced by something or someone of better quality.  I have never handled rejection or abandonment well.  So the last time I saw her, sex wasn’t an option because I was afraid of being rejected.  It would be nice to have someone want me in every way, every time they see me, but I haven’t had that wanted feeling in so long, I think I might have forgotten how to recognize the signs of it.  How can I know I’m truly love if words are all I hear and actions are few to follow?  It would be nice to feel these feelings again.  I know she loves me, just not love me anymore and that is a hard pill for me to swallow.


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