Letters of a Love

Dear Love of my life,

I’m not ignoring you, I just don’t know what to say when you call. I want to tell you I love you, but I know you don’t believe me. It hurts me to see you hurting so much, but it hurts me even more to have you back in my arms. For the past has me in this hold and I can’t break free.

Dear Love of my life,

Hi, how are you? I know that is stupid to ask you since you’re probably sitting over there thinking of me and why I’m being so cold. I’m not. I don’t know how to be all about you and all about me at the same time anymore. I feel that I tried for so long to make you happy and I couldn’t get through to you. Somewhere along the line between you and me, I gave up. Just remember I love you. I always will, but this just may be the end.

Dear Love of my life,

I hope you’re doing fine; holding yourself together and smiling. You are worth something. You are loved even if it is from a distance away. I think about you most days and smile. Some of my best memories are shared with you and our babies are doing just fine. No need to worry about them–I love and care for them with you in mind.

Dear Love of my Life,

Please don’t take it personally, what I do in my life. It is not a reflection of how I feel about you, but more so, what I need to do for myself in the moment. One day, maybe, our paths will cross again and we will have what we both wanted, years ago, now finally together.

The above, are letters I imagined my love would write to me–in her voice; so kind, concerned and loving. I know without a doubt that she worries about me and loves me immensely. My current state of mind is just unable to process it at this time. As was a few years ago, when she smiled, cried and told me how she loved and wanted me. How I was the best thing in the world. I was just too angry–too caught up in my own world to see the value in her. Now I’m in a similar state; mourning the loss of a life I so desperately dreamed of, but unequipped to handle in its fullest capacity.

6 responses to “Letters of a Love

    • I miss her everyday. I miss the life we used to share, but I also understand that a person can only take so much. Just because I’ve changed or am changing, I know it’s wrong for me to want things to go back to the way they used to be. It’s just not that easy. Life doesn’t play out that way–well, at least not today.

      • i know exactly what your talking about its like everything is going so wrong for my boyfriend and i, i wish we could return to normal best friends and that

      • I have this notion that everything can be fixed with a lot of love and effort. Some problems aren’t really problems at all when you consider the alternative.

  1. Wow, our thoughts and feelings are quite similar it seems… As I told my ex-fiancĂ© many years ago, where one door closes, another will open for you. There is always something better ahead if you open your mind to it. At least that’s what I’m hoping…

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