Baby Steps

The hardest part of breaking up, for me, is giving up.  I’m finally starting to put one foot in front of the other without factoring in a timeline.  This time I have been trying to stay away from my ex and focusing my time and mental capacities on not freaking out over the small details of what’s wrong with my life.  Technically, since it is near the end of spring break, I decided to clean up the back of my closet.  Digging through old bags and boxes, of course I would come across old clothes belonging to my nerd.  For the last few days, I have been doing pretty good controlling the urge to hear her voice, see her smile and feel her touch.  To my surprise, I was able to wrap her clothes up quickly enough to not feel anything.  Don’t get me wrong, I miss her everyday, but I think I am finally able to make baby steps forward in my life.  I am trying to not be vengeful, smile and tell myself that if no one loves me in this life, that’s fine because I love me.  Now all I need to do is find something inside of me big enough to love.

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