Every since I was a little boy, all I ever wanted was for someone to love me; accept me for human being that I was/am–flaws and all. Even when I was in that young stage, I knew it would be a hard feat to accomplish because I never fit in anywhere. So I quickly became an introvert, telling myself I didn’t need anyone to make me happy. I became a loner and shied away from social circles for fear of rejection. I have always been misunderstood and this continues to plague me in my adult life. I think becauseI didn’t partake in the childhood social events that were going on, I have become conversationally awkward. Thus, making it very hard to meet new people and build fruitful relationships–friendly, professionally and sexually. As I get older, I see how much I need others to happy, hell, even content. I feel so miserable these days and I know it’s because I’m alone most days. Truth is, I need more than a friend so the person can keep me company on a continuous basis. Friends, eventually, have to tend to their needs, their relationships and other obligations, thus not always being accessible. I need change my life somehow. Just not sure how I stop myself from feeling like I’m drowning.