I haven’t written in a couple of days simply because I dont know how to put what’s in my head into words. I just don’t know how to articulate my thoughts at this moment. I have been having a hard time focusing. At work, a few days ago, I was feeling so off that I actually considered going home to cry. I don’t know why I was feeling the way I was, but I was definitely not my normal self. I don’t have these types of thoughts. The blanking out is getting worse. The mood swings are getting worse. I went to movie and dinner with my mom and aunt yesterday. I was fine until after left the restaurant. SOMETHING came over me. I did feel like myself. My focusing became choppy and I had to wipe my eyes a few times. Luckily, they didn’t notice my pauses and heavy breathing. It didn’t last but maybe 2 minutes or so, but definitely worthy of me freaking out. It didn’t feel like my normal anxiety or panic attack. It felt different like I was going through some type of transformation and MY insides were fighting back. I think it is my will because I have this fear of being labeled crazy. I just FEAR labels. At this point, I’m ok, but what about the next time that feeling returns? I need a way to be discreetly prepared as my mental state can’t handle a lot of questions from outsiders.