New Feelings and Can’t Focus

I haven’t written in a couple of days simply because I dont know how to put what’s in my head into words.  I just don’t know how to articulate  my thoughts at this moment.  I have been having a hard time  focusing.  At work, a few days ago, I was feeling so off that I actually considered going home to cry.  I don’t know why I was feeling the way I was, but I was definitely not my normal self.  I don’t have these types of thoughts.  The blanking out is getting worse. The mood swings are getting worse.  I went to movie and dinner with my mom and aunt yesterday.  I was fine until after left the restaurant. SOMETHING came over me.  I did feel like myself.  My focusing became choppy and I had to wipe my eyes a few times.  Luckily, they didn’t notice my pauses and heavy breathing.  It didn’t last but maybe 2 minutes or so, but definitely worthy of me freaking out.  It didn’t feel like my normal anxiety or panic attack.  It felt different like I was going through some type of transformation and MY insides were fighting back.  I think it is my will because I have this fear of being labeled crazy.  I just FEAR labels.  At this point, I’m ok, but what about the next time that feeling returns?  I need a way to be discreetly prepared as my mental state can’t handle a lot of questions from outsiders. 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s