Missing Love

This morning I feel sadness.  In my head I feel so alone.  I miss love–feeling it on a scale that I know it is made for me, only me as no one else would be able to appreciate it.  I
need someone to help me, take care of me and most of all, understand me.  I have what, on my best day, I would call friends but I don’t have a best friend.  I’m just too afraid to be that open without judgment.  I think I am forgetting how to love.  What love actually feels like so maybe I wouldn’t recognize it if I saw it again.  I have been down that road before and I wasn’t in this mental state.  I fear how screwed up I must really be and what the inside of my brain looks like.  That sounds so stupid, well, at least it does to me.  I feel so lost today.  I feel so empty and alone, but unfortunately, I have to get and keep it together for at least, the next eight hours.  Hopefully, the job isn’t too stressful today and I will have an extra incentive to be  ok.  Well, that and my will to fit in and be normal.

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