Another Therapy Session

I think things just keep getting better for me. I have never been so sarcastic in my life. I keep thinking that each session is going to be different. I want them to be different and I know that starts with me. However, I’m just stuck in this mindset that hinders my ability to stay on task. Probably because there just isn’t enough time for me think logically so I just blurt out the first and what I at the time, the most pressing issue on my mind. As I struggle with the idea that I may be developing another personality or person or persons inside of me, some folks that I have been knowing for years are starting to pull away while I seem to be growing closer to those that I’ve been knowing for a simple year. Can these individuals be my real friends? I don’t think I will ever be able to truly answer that question as I mentally log time and effort in which those I trust and love hurt me, even if unintentionally. I seem to have an obsession with destruction of myself and those around me that I really can’t be that open. My ability to tune out, black out and completely shut down is allowing me to not own up and challenge anything I’m experiencing as real or honest. In knowing what I should or shouldn’t believe, I am more lost than ever.


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