I looked up to find the tears rolling down my face without knowing specifically why it was happening to me. It is the hardest thing for me to adjust to. I am afraid of myself and my inability to talk about it with enough sense to comprehend any of my actions or thoughts. With that said, I continue to struggle with the idea of going on medication and having to deal with a potential personality disorder of some kind. The more I think that I am afraid, the more afraid I become; it’s just a more internalized fear. I can’t speak on something I can’t understand enough to formulate a complete thought, let alone a sentence.