I guess I’m living in the past when it comes to relationships. Not wanting to fully part ways with the woman I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. The one I thought I would have kids with. I think what it really comes down to–I never thought I would propose to a woman, let alone have my proposal be negated. I remain positive, however, that it wasn’t wasted on my ex because she truly deserved it. I’m just not as strong as her to move forward and speak about it. I’ve always been jealous of her strength so this is no exception. I know my heart still holds her in high regard; and although, I tell her I want her to move on and be happy without me, It’s a lie I have no choice but to love with. Tonight, I wish her pleasant dreams and of course, a lot of love from me.