Another Night With Mind Racing

Last night I didn’t sleep at all so tonight I decided to take my meds to slow me down. So far, they aren’t working. My mind has just been wondering all over the place lately and I feel alone. No one understands me.  I’ve had people hell and blow up at me and some have just talking to me all together, however, I have been diligent in keeping my anger in check.  I believe desparation is beginning to sink in and I’m following my instincts less and less.I’m becoming sloppy and unfocused.  Now it is time to get back on track, focus on the goal of moving in a few months, getting another car and work on containing my love life.  I know who I’m in love with, but that is a mere technicality that I will have to overlook, possibly for the rest of my life; something I’m more than willing to take on with as much strength as I can.  However, even with the consistency of failed dates I have been on in recent weeks, dealing with my mom being in the hospital,I must continue to keep the bigger picture in mind. I will learn to have faith in the unknown and believe that someone out there can and will understand me and love me for me.  I will get my job situation under control, and not give up on myself. I’m strong. I can continue and will.

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2 responses to “Another Night With Mind Racing

  1. I wish you all the best in staying strong. A lot of the time anger issues stem from a feeling that we lack control, and it’s how it permeates to the surface, as anger. Sounds like you have a lot to deal with, and i know what it feels like when you think no one understands you, it’s incredibly isolating. I care, if you ever want to have a vent to someone 🙂

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