Searching for Numb

Searching for Numb

Swimming in gin
coated with Klonopin
drenched in the echoes
of my own thought process

with a smile I’m forging
through the baggage
of past misdemeanors looking
for the flashlight
to my future

I breathe
in Tic Tacs
in hopes of lessening
the effects of the lesions forming
on my drunken taste buds

to a degree
I’m free

yet a prisoner
to this liquor binge
I once escaped
through that gaped
hole of New Years resolutions
just to be enticed
back by memories laced
with regretful tears staining
the fear inside me

I’m lonely
holding myself, I’m lonely
inside a mind
that races the Indy
my heart rate can’t sustain
the pressures
of this life I lead
strapped up boots tracking
mud on a concious I failed
to keep clean

and it comes in waves drowning my goodness tampering
with my lock box stuffed
with ridicule and  misunderstanding

I can’t fight this entity
bloodying my prefrontal cortex spitting out inconsistencies
just call the coroner
I’m about to be DOA


2 responses to “Searching for Numb

  1. Klonpin soaked in wine is my own cure. I totally feel you, pain sucks and life isn’t fair, but tomorrow is a new day and you have to HOPE that a light will soon appear. Hang in their, focus on survival.

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