Ideal Match I Am Not

Ideal Match I Am Not

ideal match I am not
trapped inside
faulty equipment resting
at the intersection
of pathetic and improbable

my creativity isn’t crafty transforming
lemons into lemonade
without a spill or two or three

so I sit quietly
in any corner I can find
shameful of things
I can’t change
often wondering
what’s makes a societal man
into me?

my insides set ablaze
every time I visualize
my walking strategy

tears no longer flow
when bloodshed
is a language
I’ve learnt

bartering knives
used to fillet
this distinction out
of me without success
left to succumb
to the  Monster inside laughing
at my frivolous attempts
to change his Mother’s glory

so where’s my Entity?
my God when I need
some wielding power
with a force creating
canyons deep enough
to make me disappear?

ideal match I am not
left to navigate
a foreign land
where my heels don’t touch
the concrete floor 
where my knees bend
to McDonald’s arches 
even when I’m not hungry
laugh cause you think it’s funny
cry cause it’s my nightmare

and this curved spine
is my personal flash warning
predicting rain and snow
slow motion movement
why is everyone in a hurry?
it’s lonely out here 

but an ideal match I am not
so I settle 
in the crevice of my own solace
watching life slowly
murder me 
as I fade into extinction

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