Losing You, Losing Me

Losing You, Losing Me

I lost you
before I had you
in arms too big
for my comfort
can’t compete
with true love’s decision
to put him first
I must believe
in his presence
around you
your will to deceive
my heart, indeed
torn for you

for I can’t match
mental for physical
threat to endanger
yes I’m a common criminal
stolen hearts and spirits
dreams and remnants
of lives longing for my attention
now this life I live
is a gimmick
being played in HD
and karma is haunting me

like the ghost of Christmas past
without a present and future
is this all I have?

my destiny awaits
in a broken down chariot
rolling nowhere

as I lose you in the fog
of my clouded brain
you, me, us flirting
with insanity

I can’t take the chance
of another heart breaking
in the wind

Broken Mend

Broken Mend

slit writs drip exhaustion
searching for a higher calling
valuing only a name on lips
not worth a mention
stuck in this dentention
bound by mistakes
and failed attempts to forgive

bloodied by life’s blows
blackened eyes and broken
hearts don’t cause tear ducts
to flow free
though I seek atonement
sanctuary from the thoughts
resting in a mind with no room
for looking back

I count down to almost
even when it doesn’t count
knowing the smallest victories
won’t mean a thing tomorrow

yet – I hold
with a firm grasp
the I love you escaping
from lips
that won’t dare
repeat that sin