I Pack These Holes

I Pack These Holes

I pack these holes
with our memories
our girls letting
me know you’re close
to the door
pheromones fill joy
and we’re high for the night

I pack these holes
with memories
of you dancing when you think
I’m not looking
you’re gorgeous, no exceptions

I pack these holes
because without you
I’m broken
disheveled
moving in this existence
to just exist

I pack these holes
with everything you were
and everything we could have been
an essence
sweet to the taste
with a backbone
strong, never brittle

I pack these holes
with tearless dreams
where bloodshed
happened only in nightmares

I pack these holes
with a simple dream
one day I’ll hear
your voice again

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Marriage Questions

Marriage Questions

if I got down
on one knee
to confirm
the happiness you bring me
would you laugh
and think I was crazy?

what if I told you
we couldn’t live
up to my first proposal
of the past
would you still want
me to ask?

would you mind
if I couldn’t love
you pass all of my regrets
and the tears my dreams
don’t let me live down?

could you really believe
you are my everything
when another lingers
in my shadow?

could you really believe
in a broken me?

Honest Healing

Honest Healing

love ripped apart
the core of my compassion
slipped on peels
of my own skin shedding
under the weight of my blade
pounds dropped  eyes sulken
at the sight of you breathing
healthy at the height
of my pain

I’m ashamed to call
you a first for so many
bled out causes to keep
my soul smiling
in the face of your vindication
use these tears to clean
up your betrayal
want to stain your satin sheets
with this putrid grease leaking
out of my confession

sold my broken pieces
to the devil
squandered  the proceeds
on a quick fix
to snort Coke
with the aforementioned
saving my soul
for the burn
now
I can breathe deep
and again
love in a lie

I Know Now

I Know Now

I know now
I was a phase
just for the moment
a hoax for your love  

reading my thoughts
feeling my needs
pounce like a cat in heat
bleed me dry
without a thank you

I remain true
as my diamond rests
on a desk untouched
baby names scrapped
from the surface of sincerity

echoing in the alleyways
of my head
3 years meant nothing
to a beauty turned cold
without me to keep her warm
I’ve ceased to exist

finally ready to surrender
white flag wave
passing the torch to another
so you can forget
about whatever is already
hard to remember