I Know Now

I Know Now

I know now
I was a phase
just for the moment
a hoax for your love  

reading my thoughts
feeling my needs
pounce like a cat in heat
bleed me dry
without a thank you

I remain true
as my diamond rests
on a desk untouched
baby names scrapped
from the surface of sincerity

echoing in the alleyways
of my head
3 years meant nothing
to a beauty turned cold
without me to keep her warm
I’ve ceased to exist

finally ready to surrender
white flag wave
passing the torch to another
so you can forget
about whatever is already
hard to remember
 

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How Are You?

I loathe hearing this question asked of me, more so when I know the person asking really doesn’t give a shit about my answer.  Since I’m pretty honest, I typically don’t say I’m doing well  if I’m not.  If I don’t say that, I can see the expressions change in their faces as if I committed some type of crime.  If you don’t want know how I’m doing, DON’T ASK!  I’m not complaining or being negative or anything in that same vein if you ask me how I am.  I do not think my problems/life is worst or better than anyone elses–quite frankly, I could care less.  That comes from how I was brought up as a child.  I’m very unique in a lot of ways and share a lot of similarities within my dysfunctional family structure that I really opt not to discuss because of the mental blocks I have in place to prevent such discussion(s).  Anyway, a simple good morning will do if you don’t care about how I really truly am feeling.  There is no need to badger me about being negative or anything else. I can only be who I am and if the people that are around me, at home, at work, interacting with me in a roundabout way on a consistent basis don’t like who I am, they really don’t have to converse with me.  That’s fine.  Just don’t ask how are you? if you don’t really care to know.  Just simply say hey or good morning and trust me, I will be totally fine with that.  I have myself to love and more often than not, I really do–that’s all I’m really used to doing anyway.