On My Own

On My Own

It’s taken years
to put down this torch filled
with fire and spite
the burns on forearms
could never lie
what this mouth
could omit

I often wonder if you’re well
or in hell
or do I care
because I still can’t forgive
my heartache has hardened
on the stone wall I threw
myself repeatedly
trying to get back
to eyes that showed the future
to hands that performed
magic without a rabbit and a hat
and spirit remaining calm
in disaster

what was a replacement
is now a momento sitting
by the trash
displaced without emotion
lacking Steel Toes to continue walking
I’ve given up on this dream

who cares if I smile
if my heart can’t feel it

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Searching Alone

Searching Alone

I used to love tug of wars
and spilled milk
cop calls and knife jabs

now I stand alone
on this corner
of miscommunication and promiscuity

lost in a thousand hands
and closed eyes searching
for a substance I can’t provide

a spirit left under the rail car
on 95th St. trying
to make it to Trinity

can a God not seen
save a soul that’s made a living
demeaning everyone in his path?

unforgiven
in mind and spirt
where it matters most

now my spirit lies dormant
perfectly placed
under a pile of has-beens

Releasing

Releasing

please remove your junk
from inside the walls
of this harbored nest
you used to settle in

laden in the night sky
blanketed by the dusk’s air
I keep you relevant
every time fingers pound
keys in frustration

my soul hopes to drop
a piece of you
in the gutter where you’ve placed
my heart without its cover
for protection
muddied from footprints
and little girls pretending
to be women over 25
lost in the shuffle I scream
for your assistance

you have become deaf
to the electric current that used
alert you of my dying need
so I lay strapped
with a pint of gin
cigar in hand
hoping one day
to stand erect
smiling true
within a life without you

Weak Moments #1

Weak Moments #1

at times

when the overcast
of polluted skies become
too much to bear
I reach for you

breathing in Chicago’s smog
clouding my judgment
I believe I need you

functioning solely
on the day to day pouring
rains that flood
Stoney Island’s viaducts
I cry for you

when the Sunshine
of my life is missing
dawn seems to be overlooked
a sunset too
not casting it’s normal red/orange hues
my mind’s dark as midnight
as my flesh bleeds for you

due to my sins
I deserve to be punished
life whips me bare
my clothes fallen

outstretched in this darkness chained to the stock
awaiting my execution

for deeds you can’t forgive