Breaking Down the Stage

Breaking Down the Stage

as the stage sets
its grip around darkness

a few last words of remembrance

I’ve been the best and worse
trance-ed in unknown territory visited
by your spirit singing songs
of broken-hearted dreams

shattered remains of time spent
weeping for understanding
that never came for us in the morning

what we shared sent
electric charges to a heart that couldn’t be revived
resilience binded us
for as long as time could contain my destruction

but I hold true what you represented
a love greater than any fairytale foretold
worthy of the diamond I proposed

the nightly kiss you’d give
in absence of my soul trying
desperately to partake in your essence

tears streamed in secret
knowing what I caused
Gin, my only combatant to a rage
I didn’t understand

but under your steady command

I see visions of my flesh tingling
underneath your palms
sensing the teasing pleasure
of your fingertips dancing
on parts you make sensitive
still cause my finest hairs to stand
at attention

forever lost in your dimension


for your heart to mend
so we can set this stage again

Laid Off

Laid Off

stuck in the passion
of your primal rage
irises darkening with every stroke
a moan in sync with my rhythm toes curled, back arched

like conjoined twins we shared something bigger than the act
that anyone with the capacity could perform

our web was much more intricate valued for craftsmanship
the artists put the time in
5 minutes are for rookies
going for the gold
I was more interested in pleasing your soul

envisioning, kissing and licking every crevice on your body
till your spasms begged
with me to stop

yea everything about you deserved love too

now I wonder
if it could have all been for show part of your puppetry yanking
on my heart strings

how another could duplicate
what we’ve pressed and mastered yet you try
thrown by the wayside
is everything we worked for

building blocks
for someone else to take over

it seems the years put in
don’t mean a thing when a queen
makes her final ruling

the pleading stops
my eyes swell
but a tear you will never see drop

that’s reserved for my true love

whose kisses
would never leave me thirsty

Life Everchanging

So I woke up this morning, in my car, on the side of the road. Shoes were off and the seat was let back. When I came to, it was about 9 AM.  Of course, with my various blends of meds to keep my mind in line, I was running all over the place trying to recap last night’s timeline. With a little deep breathing, I began to remember going to 2 bars before ending up a nightclub for a birthday party, already with gin pumping through my body. I remember dancing, singing, laughing and pushing my way through hordes of people to make it to the bathroom.  What’s foggy is how I ended up on the side of the road. I have never been a clubgoer, having the opportunity to be reckless, but I have also never been alone for so long.  If I were to do my on therapeutic evaluation, I would say I’m compensating for the things I’ve lost on my journey to this point in my life.  Life makes its own plan, I have learned.  I’m slowly becoming ok with that.  Even in the midst of all things considered of what I shouldn’t be doing, I am becoming more comfortable with myself every time I step outside my box. So in order to continue this progress, I guess I have to let the bad in with the good.