On My Own

On My Own

It’s taken years
to put down this torch filled
with fire and spite
the burns on forearms
could never lie
what this mouth
could omit

I often wonder if you’re well
or in hell
or do I care
because I still can’t forgive
my heartache has hardened
on the stone wall I threw
myself repeatedly
trying to get back
to eyes that showed the future
to hands that performed
magic without a rabbit and a hat
and spirit remaining calm
in disaster

what was a replacement
is now a momento sitting
by the trash
displaced without emotion
lacking Steel Toes to continue walking
I’ve given up on this dream

who cares if I smile
if my heart can’t feel it

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