Nightmare Scene

Nightmare Scene

headless ghosts captivated
by the compelled torture
I enter in nightly
marvel at the blood-stained
sleeves I’ve created
and wear proud

tell their stories
of mutated
pierced by gunfire
punctured by half-dull knives
jumping off buildings
with limps snapping in disarray

I simply smile
with obscured pleasure

one day, I too, will emulate

Journal Entry #16

Sleep has come easier with the meds I’m on, but my mind is still running in its own way vía dreams and nightmares.  So I still feel tired all the time; I apparently look like it too as I’m consistently told I need to get rest by co-workers.

The dreams and nightmares are usually faceless–ranging from murder to fucking up, yet another relationship.  However, in all honesty, my mind is my best friend. Allowing myself to be totally objective, my dreams/nightmares show me glimpes of the future. They always have, even when I was kid. They also show me what kind of torment lay behind the walls I’ve built so I don’t have to deal with the anomaly that is my existence.  I could never hide from myself, just lie and pretend.

At any rate, I feel things or thoughts are becoming more intense even though I release everything in my therapy sessions or maybe that’s what I want to convince myself is the truth.