I Hope You

I Hope You

I hope you smile
knowing this love
can’t expire
running this 5k to
to your heart
I’ll never tire
under the weight
of your broken spirit
I will fight
with every breath
to live in your grace
is my ultimate happiness

I hope you smile
when you think of my name
recall my touch
I hope you smile
when you think
of this love

made for you

Waking Up

Waking Up

when darkness erupts
around me
I think of you
non-sexual
smiling, standing there
with a wing span outreach
that could cover the room
but you don’t move
you just stand there
smiling
I want you to come over
hover
wait, when you did that before
I made you disappear

my golden gate
open
only after the laughter
has subsided
then these dreams occur
your smell returns
like ghosts I can’t touch
but I see
clear as summer’s sun
I see you
but can no longer touch you

In memoriam
I just breathe 

On My Own

On My Own

It’s taken years
to put down this torch filled
with fire and spite
the burns on forearms
could never lie
what this mouth
could omit

I often wonder if you’re well
or in hell
or do I care
because I still can’t forgive
my heartache has hardened
on the stone wall I threw
myself repeatedly
trying to get back
to eyes that showed the future
to hands that performed
magic without a rabbit and a hat
and spirit remaining calm
in disaster

what was a replacement
is now a momento sitting
by the trash
displaced without emotion
lacking Steel Toes to continue walking
I’ve given up on this dream

who cares if I smile
if my heart can’t feel it

Shadow

Shadow

in spit of your passing
I feel you in my shadow
perhaps as my guardian
perhaps my lack of purge
to let you go

my heart
my soul
I cannot part
we always become one
in the dark
I see you there
I see you here
perched
spewing
your likeness in remembrance

I feel your embrace
breathing shallow in your last day
but in my shadow you reside
as I make efforts now
to the pass time away

Fuck Cancer (for mom)

Fuck Cancer (for mom)

I stand against adversity
remaining strong
though these knees are weak
and this spineĀ  feeble
you come lean
on this pillar
of my spirit when needed
and I will carry you
in this darkness

I will not settle
for less than your best
I will not pass
on you to be meek
because I’ve seen your strength
laid at my feet

I have courage
I am brave
because you exist
in me

I may shed a tear
relax a smile
but I will not bend or break
I will act as your guard
in the face of your discomfort
my heart will not beat less
in the face of fear
I will not falter
and give in
for your illness
has already seen
its end

it can’t have you
you’re already mine