If I Don’t Make It

If I Don’t Make It

I prepare to go under
bright lights with needles
and scaples
not feeling a pinch
as I breathe in
her sadation

if I don’t make it
allow me to remember paws
patting faces and snuggles
for comfort

if I don’t make it
allow me to remember her smile
hair blowing in the wind
the way she felt on my lips
allow our souls to dance
just as they did
when just love was enough

if I don’t make it
to those that knew me well
know that even in my darkness
my soul’s light couldn’t fall
in the shadows
even in the sadness plagued
mistakes I regret
the love I’ve lost
and what I’ve gained
my dust will settle with a smile

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