I Hope You
I hope you smile
knowing this love
can’t expire
running this 5k to
to your heart
I’ll never tire
under the weight
of your broken spirit
I will fight
with every breath
to live in your grace
is my ultimate happiness
I hope you smile
when you think of my name
recall my touch
I hope you smile
when you think
of this love
made for you
Waking Up
when darkness erupts
around me
I think of you
non-sexual
smiling, standing there
with a wing span outreach
that could cover the room
but you don’t move
you just stand there
smiling
I want you to come over
hover
wait, when you did that before
I made you disappear
my golden gate
open
only after the laughter
has subsided
then these dreams occur
your smell returns
like ghosts I can’t touch
but I see
clear as summer’s sun
I see you
but can no longer touch you
In memoriam
I just breathe
I Miss You
I know that you are there
but I
miss you
I know that you care
but I miss you
I know you can’t be here
so I
miss you
On My Own
It’s taken years
to put down this torch filled
with fire and spite
the burns on forearms
could never lie
what this mouth
could omit
I often wonder if you’re well
or in hell
or do I care
because I still can’t forgive
my heartache has hardened
on the stone wall I threw
myself repeatedly
trying to get back
to eyes that showed the future
to hands that performed
magic without a rabbit and a hat
and spirit remaining calm
in disaster
what was a replacement
is now a momento sitting
by the trash
displaced without emotion
lacking Steel Toes to continue walking
I’ve given up on this dream
who cares if I smile
if my heart can’t feel it
Death: A First Time
as I roam this train platform
searching for comprehension
flirting close to its edge
death is now familiar
for I feel it
a first time rattling
bones undiscovered
trying to feel his presence
the universe is empty now
Fuck Cancer (for mom)
I stand against adversity
remaining strong
though these knees are weak
and this spine feeble
you come lean
on this pillar
of my spirit when needed
and I will carry you
in this darkness
I will not settle
for less than your best
I will not pass
on you to be meek
because I’ve seen your strength
laid at my feet
I have courage
I am brave
because you exist
in me
I may shed a tear
relax a smile
but I will not bend or break
I will act as your guard
in the face of your discomfort
my heart will not beat less
in the face of fear
I will not falter
and give in
for your illness
has already seen
its end
it can’t have you
you’re already mine
I Throw Exes in Boxes
I throw exes in boxes
seal with duct tape
place in a far corner
of a locked cellar
so they can’t hear my screams
cries that echo
in the walls shaking
the very foundation we built
I throw exes in boxes
on hands and knees barely
breathing
a mess folded
up in sheets
with all the regrets
I’m bleeding
I throw exes in boxes
sealed with duct tape
twice so their smiles
can’t escape my memory
cause without them
I’m an imperfection
dreading existing
For As Long
baby seems to change
with every relationship acquired
and though I don’t call you specific
your nickname holds a weight
only you can carry
unique in image
you validate my insecurity
hold on to me
like I’m the only man
you can see
what does that mean?
pieces of my heart
scatter in your palms
refusing to gel in fear
of what may become of us
but Love I’ve befriended well
as you can tell
open the bottle cap
and drink from this elixir
for as long as I have you
you’ll get all I can give
accept me as I am
be my friend
because I’m a gem
needing polish
as I wipe me clean
time and again
your patience met
gratitude way before
you took the polar plunge
into a heart frozen over
a diamond buried
I look to you
to find me
cherish distinctively
revel in a dream
I lost sight of years prior
I yelled and hollered
and you answered the call
so for as long as I can
I’ll press on
bleeding out the better of me
for you to see
insecurity and all
what Love really does to me
dreaming to dream
with you, holding on
Perfection
the tingle
of sweat downpouring
pass eyebrows slanted
down
wiped with hands rough
callous from a labored load
I stand alone
waiting for the caress
that I could only dream
about since I was 13 years old
firm with the smell of Old Spice
I’m open to anything now
I’ve been here before
walls crowded
with chatter
broken to bits
by bulldozed anger
rage of a different kind
a heart fragile
a mind overwhelmed
fingers lay unfolded
as hearts become broken
eyes once fiery
with affection
now turn amiss
at the sight of me
at the height
of our extinction
I glanced at her
once more
a love uncomplicated
laid to rest
o3broken 